I’m sipping my latte on the balcony as the day warms up here in Nowheresville on the border between New South Wales and Victoria.

The Coach advised that one of the keys to a good performance in the Aussie Millions is to acclimatize well ahead of the event. So just like the Olympic athletes like to go to Mexico a few weeks ahead of the Olympics, we’ve come down under to adjust the sleep patterns and get used to the pace of life.

And what a place! We’ve fallen in love with it. We’re now on the last leg, a drive along the coast roads from Sydney to Melbourne. No doubt real writers would have lots of flowery words and metaphors to describe it. All I can say is that it’s very cool (and the flowers are pretty too). Miles of deserted beaches with fluffy white sand that massages your feet when you walk along. Crashing waves. Spectacular mountains just in the distance. It’s as though someone took all the best bits from other places (sand from Bahamas, mountains from Colorado, waves from South Africa) and put them here. So where are all the hotel resorts and boardwalks? If there are any we haven’t found them. Just a few small towns with normal people.

After nearly three weeks in Oz I’ve made a few Holmesian deductions (or are they observations?) about Australians:

First, they are very friendly. A shock to an uptight, self-righteous Pom like me. The grumpy ones are usually recent immigrants from Britain.

Second, no-one is wrapped up in political correctness BS. Everyone seems at ease with their own views about things. It’s funny how saying it how it is now sounds racistsexistageist. 

I’ve also noticed (impossible not to if you drive here) that they can’t drive. How can they be so good at every sport the World ever invented and not be able to drive a car? The roads are lined with signs saying things like “Do not overtake unless it is safe to do so”. Well thanks for the useful advice!

We are on the last leg of our journey and I am now feeling well and truly acclimatized. Melbourne here we come! I’m excited but I will be sorry to see the WAKs go home

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